Where have the words gone?

I’m beginning to think my Morning Pages routine has usurped my Blog in terms of where I go to process my life. Used to be I’d post my inner ramblings (edited of course) here whenever the words demanded release, or I needed to “think”. Since entering the 8th month of daily Morning Pages, I’ve noticed a decidedly dramatic dip in how often I want to blog. There’s also quite the difference in what I post. I’ve been re-blogging mostly, or droping the barest of words into the blank post “page”.

That’s soon to change though as I’m in the final few weeks before the official business launch. Sure, I’ve been writing, publishing, and in some ways coaching new writers since 2008 but this year is the year I make my business known to the state and feds (damn taxes) AND I actively solicit clients for not just one or two business ventures, but three!

The websites are up, one of which is sorely in need of creative content. I’ll wrap that up in the next two – three weeks. I’ll send off for my business license on my birthday (just feels right to do it that way), and then announce the grand openings and such on July 18th, the official birthday of my first ever SELF published book.  There will be a book release announcement that day as well (FINALLY!!!).

Now, about my recent physical health worries. Talked with the nurse practioner. As we discussed my “symptoms”, she and I concluded that what I’m having are anxiety attacks. Mind you, I’ve had one or two before but they didn’t feel as whack-a-doodle, nor did they repeat themselves on the daily. But okay, anxiety attacks. She of course, prescribed a pill. Now mind you, I am sensitive to drugs. My OTC headache med gets me high, I’m that level of sensitive. I have a high threshold for pain as well so eschew using any type of pain meds harder than say Tylenol or Advil. I was once given morphine after a surgery and as soon as I could catch someone between automatic IV drips, I made them take it away. The nurses were dumbfounded but I was adamant. They took to giving me children’s Tylenol with my meal and even that went unused.  Anyway, given what I know about my reaction to drugs, I am RELUCTANT to take this pill. Even though she swore it was the mildest dose she could give me, I am RELUCTANT. Ha, the idea of taking the med makes me even more anxious; oh the irony.

So, with all that’s going on in my life right now, and believe me, there is more than I’m posting here. My Morning Pages can attest to that. With all that I have going on, I’ve decided that this is nothing more than my Divinity sending me a loud message that I need to work more on my mental and emotional health / wellbeing.  I’ve spent the majority of my life since my last ear infection in the 9th grade, extremely healthy. Physically. But as I’m aging, my body can’t keep all its systems in top condition without the aid of a sound MIND. I’m not thinking / feeling healthy which is prompting me to make some not so sound decisions. Consequently, my body is sending a loud signal that something’s out of whack. Hence, the anxiety.

I’m sorry, is this post dragging on?  I can’t see the current post word count, my auto-hide function on my tool bar seems to not be working. Sigh.  Either way, this has been quite the ramble. I’ll stop here for now and come back tomorrow with the rest of the story.

Hope you have a wonderful day,

Sending Love and Light


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