How much is it worth to you to have someone who would stop you in your bullshit and walk you through doing what it was you “had” to do?
Scenario one: you are a (insert Network Marketing business here) consultant. You know you need to make five cold calls or introductions today in order to feel good about yourself and make your numbers. The idea fills you with dread and you manage to make all kinds of convincing excuses as to why you aren’t going to be able to “get ‘er done”. How much would it be worth to you for someone to come in, and essentially hold your hand while you make those cold calls? This person wouldn’t give you the rah-rah speech, or try to hype you up with the usual fluffy motivational chatter. No. They would simply show up at the appointed time, remind you of your promise to yourself and your business, then sit quietly while you dialed the phone, or approached the five new contacts. Once done, they’d give you a hug or a congratulatory hand shake, remind you of your inherent awesomeness, then ride off into the sunset until your next scheduled appointment.
Scenario two: you have vowed to go to the gym three times a week. Same deal as above, you have a vault full of reasons why you just don’t feel like going today. How much would you pay to have someone show up, leave no room for the BS and take you to the gym?
You see, I’m still working out the “GIFT” idea – what my “GIFT” is and how can I use it to my advantage. As I said in the last processing post on this subject, it’s not about knowing what to do, it’s about DOING it. I believe once we get to a certain age, say mid-thirties for most, we know what it takes to live comfortably in society. We know we need to be doing something that earns us a living so we can afford our constitutionally declared right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The thing is, we often get bogged down in unfulfilling life habits that take the shine off of everything leaving us in poor health, struggling to make ends meet, and overall, feeling quite unhappy. In staying with my theme, “You don’t need another self-help book”, I looked at my life, and what I felt I needed was someone who would just shore me up at the beginning of making these life changes so that I’d carry through with them until they became ingrained. I wonder how true that is for most people? How many of us would be living our best lives, if we had someone who came in and action-ed us through our excuses – yes, I made up a verb in order to convey that you have to actively work through your obstacles, not sit around talking about them. You can plan for every eventuality on a camping trip but if you never go camping, what’s the use?
Scenario three: you have a teen who for whatever reasons will not sit down to study. They’re all over the place with the social media but have no interest in spending the time it takes to focus on a lesson. It’s not that the child isn’t smart, it’s that they just don’t have that focus skill (ADHD, and other brain glitches aside). Are you willing to drop a few dollars to pay someone to teach them how to focus and then for a month or more, sit with them, reminding them that they can achieve, that they are smart, and that they will succeed if they just sit still and focus long enough for the lessons to sink in?
All of us need to be reminded I think, of our inherent self-worth; that we’re worthy of the energy / hard work it sometimes takes to get what we want. I know my turning points came when I got clear about what I wanted and I was willing to accept that certain things were going to have to be sacrificed in order to get them. No sooner than my mind was set than did any feelings of hardship, disappointment, impatience disappear. I did what needed to be done, for as long as it took to reach my goal. I didn’t have these page long plans, vision boards, or long lists of affirmations. In fact, once the decision to go for the goal was made, a sort of euphoria carried me through. I don’t remember ever consciously working to change my behaviors – they changed to support my mission without a second thought. I knew what I needed to do in order to get what I wanted so that’s what I did. Day in, day out until the goal was in hand. There were set backs, but they weren’t seen as big deals. I took them as lessons to be learned and applied, while I kept moving forward.
*AH-HA* It’s only been when I doubted I was deserving / worthy of the goal that I faltered.
All that self-help stuff is great for helping to clarify your desires / goals / dreams…whatever. But if deep down, you don’t think you’re worth the effort, or deserving of the rewards, nothing is going to get you to do the work. Not the vision board, the affirmations, the promise of riches beyond your wildest dreams – NOTHING.
Hmmmm. I think I’m beginning to see shapes in the fog.
Dana Ellington, MAPW 