Cruel twist of parenthood – at least for me. That habit of waking every so many hours to feed the micro-human (as well as diaper changes, chasing out the monsters after a stray nightmare or two, etc.) remains intact despite said micro now being into the macro stages. Long about the twelfth year or so it was suggested, by whom I don’t remember, that I go see an “herbal doctor” as my condition might best be served by utilizing homeopathic remedies. Uh huh. I believe my initial visit cost around sixty dollars, because of course my insurance was having nothing to do with anything that didn’t have me sitting down with a recognized MD. I don’t remember the length of the visit but I do remember the ‘doctor’ diagnosed me with being hyper-vigilant. When it was all said and done, I had a prescription for some ‘pills’ and a powder deal I was to put into some tea. The pills looked like little, round Vitamin E capsules (much like the tiny dots of Vitamin D I take now) and there were a little over twenty or so in the bottle. All of that plus the powder packet cost one-hundred and twenty dollars. I was supposed to re-up my prescription every month.
Perhaps, had the powder / pill deal worked, I might have stopped laughing and found a way to drop $120 bucks every month, but alas, nothing changed.
Life happened and here we are, several years later and I still find myself waking at least twice a night or once, well before I’m due to get up and begin the day. I am no longer falling asleep at red lights or dozing off in rush hour traffic so there’s a plus, I suppose.
Nope, instead, I am spending most days, or should that be daze(d), feeling slightly disconnected from reality. I tend to be on the fringes most times anyway, but mostly that feeling is in my head. With the pro-longed sleep deprivation, the feeling is seeping out into the rest of my body creating a rift between it and my thoughts. Whoa. See, happened in that sentence. I’m typing what I think is a coherent thought but when I go back and read it, well…not so coherent after all.
I don’t really have a point to this post. I just had to get the words out. When all else goes wonky in my head, the words are always there, my constant companions. The one consistent thing in my life save being alive. I’m still doing that, so there’s some more good news, eh? 🙂