Well, what did I expect? A Miracle?

Copied from: http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-17257653

Yeah, so aside from the great stats on the blog, nothing else has changed. My inches, my weight, my financial situation…all stagnant. SIGH.  This is the nature of limbo, it capitalizes on the lack of visible forward momentum and squashes the after glow of the New Year’s motivational bursts. Here’s where the real work begins.  Are you hearing the siren call of “give-up” floating to you over the sounds of the waves? I am. But this time, I’m aware that the call only leads to a hidden rocky outcropping which will sink this ship faster than a 100 foot high iceberg.  I’m tired of crashing against rocks, know what I mean?

I’ve got to upgrade some things for sure. The number of times I go the gym, the intensity of the workouts, what I’m eating (fewer cheats, you know what I mean?). Oh, and when it comes to the business? Man, talk about time to get serious. I’ve rooty-pooted around with registering the business, I keep blaming it on the money or lack there of, but seriously, I keep not investing in myself and that’s counter productive. I started looking at it like this – I’m in the “human” construction business right? I help people build toward the lives they want to live. Well, shouldn’t I be the best built life in the neighborhood? I should be if I want folks to buy my services.  My life is the show-home so to speak. It’s got to be my best work. Whew. I am freaking out, but it’s got to be done.

I remember when I went into the personal training business. I worked out, but was far from looking as if I lived in the gym. I, at least had my PT certification though. In fact, it never crossed my mind not to get it. But when it comes to the life coaching – I shudder. The title is so over used these days, at least as far as I’m concerned. As I mentioned, I don’t do things the way I’m supposed to so it grates on me to approach what I want to do as “life coaching” but I suppose, despite my spin, that’s what it boils down to.  However I choose to look at it, I’ve got to make up my mind and work some magic. Either way, I want to be up and rolling with that arm of the Nowata Business plan by July 1st.

Time I started walking in my big girl shoes like I own ’em, eh?

Wait a minute…just WAIT A MINUTE!!  I said STOP!!!

funny gifs
Good freakin’ grief. Have you read The War of Art by Steven Pressfield? I’ve referenced it before on the blog – if you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend it.  It’s a quick read. Anyway, in the book, as I mentioned before, he gives a very clear, detailed explanation of what Resistance is and how it shows up in our lives.  All this talk about my “GIFT” and the “Human Construction business”…it’s crap. Or rather, it’s resistance.  How do I know?  Because even though I feel some excitement over these discoveries, about this “new” venture, it’s not soul deep. My Divinity was all in when I discovered my GIFT, She’s not at all pleased with the idea of me going into the life coaching business. She’s wondering why I haven’t finished my latest manuscript, and why I didn’t finish my NaNo run last November, and why I haven’t worked to gather any new author-clients for publishing help.  I’d go so far as to say She’s right and royally pissed off at me for going down yet another rabbit hole that has me doing some of everything that’s not at all related to who and what I AM at my core nor has me headed in the direction I’ve said I’ve wanted to go since I was twelve or so years old.

Geez. I’m telling you – this growing up stuff is tricky.

3 thoughts on “Well, what did I expect? A Miracle?

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