Well, Mod One wrapped on the 21st.
After my bladder sent its call for relief this morning, I found myself wide awake (not unusual) thinking about what Mod One brought to my attention. Two things stand out.
#1. I spend a vast majority of my time on auto pilot. Doing what I’ve always done without any real thought to consequences or how I feel. In fact, I end up feeling the same as I’ve always felt. I am deep in sheep mode.
#2. I really only have one core desired feeling and that’s to feel WORTHY. The CDFs I came up with would be natural outcomes of my actions if my actions were based on my feeling worthy; worthy of the effort, worthy of the results, etc.
Won’t be hearing back from my Betas until the 27th, I hope that, much the same as I did – they have made some discoveries, that they see the patterns, and have now a solid starting point. It’s only up from here as they say. I’ll be expanding on this before the month’s over. This was just one of those 0’dark-thirty outbursts from the voices in my head – I have to put words to page in order for them to feel heard / validated. Once that happens, they tend to quiet down a bit and I can squeeze in a few winks before my alarm goes off. Here’s hoping.
Dana Ellington, MAPW 