The Key to Successful Masturbation

It was one of those subjects that it was dang near impossible to find any real information about.  What little info you got told you it wasn’t something you brought up in “polite” conversation. It was something to be kept a secret.  Didn’t stop you though from occasionally taking matters into your own hands, so to speak.  I don’t know about you, but it was something I never got the hang of.  You can laugh, I often do.  There wasn’t anyone to go to ask and most “how to” books talked mechanics and accessories, both of which I had but yet and still, the results were more often unsatisfying, and on more than one occasion left me nauseous and less than interested in doing it again.

Well, I believe I have discovered the “key” that will unlock the mystery, bring about the desired outcome (pun intended).  What I’d been missing is a healthy dose of narcissism.  Yup. As I continue to evolve, I see where loving oneself can come in handy.  Aside from the basics – setting and keeping healthy boundaries, eating healthy, exercising, and doing things that are solely for your benefit, the right amount of narcissism takes any shame or guilt away from the act of “bringing yourself to joy”.  You can relax, feel each sensation without hesitation.  Masturbation becomes the most fantabulous way to say, “I love you” to yourself.

— Oh, I crack myself up sometimes. In case you were wondering, I have a migraine and what you just read is what eased its way through the pain.  Because pain (emotional or physical) prompts my creativity (I have no idea how that works or why), I tend to end up with some new piece of writing.  I decided to share this one on the blog :-).

Anyway, I’m going to grab a little bite to eat, then maybe sit still for a little while longer. The meds should be kicking in soon, and then I’ll go forth and do some errands. Not the glamorous life I’d hoped for when I became a novelist but I’ll take it.

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2 thoughts on “The Key to Successful Masturbation

  1. Absolutely applaud you for writing this post. I had a health teacher in 8th grade who was a huge supporter of masturbation. She preached it constantly in class. Said it was the safest way to avoid STDs or pregnancy, and advocated it more than abstinence which she did not believe in — and neither do I, so she’d discuss it instead. Let us put anonymous questions on any sexual topic into a box that she would answer during class too. She was a good teacher, but I imagine most parents would seek to fire her and I never had another like her. This post, in a manner, reminded me of her.

    1. The only people who ever talked about masturbation were my friends. I don’t remember not one adult EVER bringing it up. Mom provided encyclopedias and the general birds and bees conversation; junior high science had one class or two on human reproduction and this disgusting (lol) film on STDs (scared me so bad every pimple or blemish was a reason for nightmares. It moved me to abstinence more than the threat of pregnancy ever did, LOL).

      Anyway, thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment. I appreciate it :-).

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